I scream my lungs out for you
The moment you say its over
Your every words were untrue
We know its gone forever
& I will pray you are the one I seek


Thursday, March 19

2 weeks back, my bike is in perfect condition, no scratches, no dents...

Till yesterday, I skidded on the PIE on lane 1, thanks to e-braking on the white marks.& thanks to the slippery road too.

The next thing I knew,my chest thumped & I blacked out for a moment before pulling myself up.

My beautiful,just sprayed bike was lying on d ground. First thing in my mind was "Oh, NO!!! Not my bike!", but der i was bleeding here & der.

I was frustrated.

Oh believe me, that is not the only thing I am worrying about. I need more money, man! Some parts need to be changed.

My condition's good, only the pain I have to bear is unbearable when it comes in contact with H20. Godamnit.

& Thanks to Ju for coming to my rescue at 9am.

Note to self, never rush to work anymore, never selit when road is slippery. NEVER.

Monday, March 9

love quote Pictures, Images and Photos

Wow, my PMS is bad.

They live to degrade.

I wonder why did I even bother to place my feet on that ground after being absent for so long. Stupid, yes.

Saturday, March 7

Since dah boring kan, nak post more pictures yang kat Perth, k k k.
Sambong from the 4th day...
Dapat permission from our family to hit the clubs!!!= ) Hairi get to drive. = )
Thanks to the GPS or we definitely will get lost
Happening kepe
Screwdriver = )
Ice's friend.. He's a gay lah. = ( & tengok baju dia!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Hit another club.. Erm.. banyak sangat bapok, lesbians & gays
Seram kepe.. If only "HE" knows the I actually deliberately took a pic of him. Nyeha
Macam barbie kan?!!!Bleusk
Pergi ke rooftop for some chillout musics and baileys. Yumm
Nak masok nie!!!!
More pics in next entry or so..

Kepala sakit. Throbbing rabak. Been having sleepless nights. At work, lok tang. Cheng teng teng Cheng teng teng. Camane sey.
I'm yet to take a proper picture of my baby. Its not the same candy pink from what I had in mind but this will do.
Mind him.
Mus, the pink panther. Thanks ah eh. I love my new bike colour. = )Yet to change the seat & place some nice deisgns on the body & I'm done.

Sunday, March 1


Lemme update about yesterday.

Was out to town with Yaya. Wanted to catch a movie, so we bought tix for Bloody Valentine (3D) @ Cathay. Unfortunately, Yaya had to leave even before the movie start due to some circumstance. I was quite lost for awhile. But, I decided, Ok mus. Tengok jelah.
BUT it was a mistake. A big mistake, infact. I sat alone in the front row & I was freaking out mcm orang gila, sampai nangis2 , cold sweat semua ah. Jantong pun lagi sikit roboh OK!!! So, I made myself busy, smsing here & der. Oh & yea, its a 3D show plus its bloody gore. FUCK. Watch it lah ok! & rate it urself. But yeah, Im proud of myself for being able to survive throught the movie. Of course, you guys have no idea how was I the whole 1 hour & 30 mins. Mcm siak!!! As much as I wanted to run out of the theathre, I was frozed to my seat. = (

Had jamming till 12 am after which & headed to Massie's.I was afraid to go home so yea, Massie's place is kinda my 2nd home anyway & plus, I love her room. heee. Woke up the next morning(just now ah tu),I was in her hot pink shirt & red, flowery bermudas, unmade face & hair, yet we headed down to LJS behind her place for breakfast. Oh both of us didnt shower till 7pm just now? Nyeha. But we had helluva loads of fun. We scare our selves silly. We decided to watch Saw 4 and Hostel 1. Mcm berani ah. We freaked out, I screamed & almost collapsed, we were cursing & swearing, hid our face wf pillows... Aftermath was bad, both of us went silent, dah mcm kena badi.It was raining cats & dogs outside with lightning. It dosent make it better kan? But we are alright now, I guess. heh. We should do it again. Hanged out at Mc Cafe for Double Choc to calm ourselves down, we were pretty jumpy, I was worse lor. Bitch, I love you, ok?

Friday, February 27


Am I intruding somebody's privacy?

Wow. Such a great measure I had went to. & I swear I'm going to collapse if I dun contain myself anytime soon. FUCK YOU. YES. YOU.

Shit. My hands are bloody trembling. Trembling mcm orang sakit peckingson. Eh, what is that illness call eh? Something like that ah. Geram sangat sangat. OK, please Mus, please dun do anything stupid, now. Control, breathe, please, no tears. Shit, its forming. No! No. Don't. OK, thats it. I'm officially crazy. Crazy nak mampos nyer crazy. Take a deep breathe u bitch! *slap face*. Ouch! Sakit lah bodoh!

OK, thats it. Really. I need a breather. I really need a breather.

I want to go to sleep & pretend that I dun know what is happening. Mus, pretend mus!! Jst pretend. Just smile & laugh like you fucking own the world, asshole!

I'm using so the many vulgar. Cheebye. Where is the punching bag when I need one?!!! Where is it!!!!!

Nak shout sampai anak tekak terkeluar. I want to run & dive into the ocean, deep down below. I want to be alone. Alone! GET IT?!!!!

I'll be ok, eventually. I just dont know when. FUCK YOU.

Thursday, February 26

I miss my vespa!!! Its been 3 weeks since I last saw my baby lah!!! BOO HOO!!! I'm tired of taking d bus back home everyday! I hate the train cuz its so hard to push & squeeze my way out when I reach Paya Lebar. Macam sardin lah!!!

I hope the colour turns out satisfying. Or I'll knock Ah Beng's head sampai benjol bejol. Taking public isnt that bad lah...only the waiting time that suck. & I hate crowds big time.

Cepat lah siap!!! CEPAT!!!

Nak merayap pun susah lah....

I went out of the lift & ran mcm budak kecik to d safest place ever, my home. SHIT!!! It's going to take a long long time before mus jadi berani again. Alamak, susah lah hidop gini!! Keluar lift, mulut kumat kamit non stop doa, larI,abeh jantung mcm nak roboh. Sampai bila!!IBU!!! NAK PINDAH RUMAH!!! NAK PINDAH CEPAT-CEPAT!!! =(


To make things worse, I had to take the lift at d end, nearest to .... @ 12 am!!!

Camane nie!! Camane !!!!

Takot !!! Takot sangat sangat, ok?! Korang tak tahu mus takot macamane. Super duper terok.

Thanks ah eh!!!!

Tuesday, February 24

How could he be this heartless, leaving them behind in this major shock? How could he do this to the innocence?? R.I.P. May god bless your soul.

I'm insecure. I'm feeling so vulnerable, intimidated, I lacked trust. All those negativity strikes again. Scram!!!!!

Fuckin' hell... Why must I know the things I musnt know?!!! Bodoh.

Cheebye ah. Fucking cheebye. I hate myself for acting this way. Scram PMS!!!! Get lost from my life. U bloody had made my life more miserable than it already had!!! Fuck!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!!!!

I want to fucking cry like a baby. I want to run. & I really mean run. Run until I run out of breathe & collapse. I want to tug my hair so tight that my scalp bleeds.

Retribution. I gotta make this decision fast. & I mean, fast.

Monday, February 23

PMS is here... Stay away...

& I really mean stay away.

Some horrid scenario happened. Shit. Dah takot nak balik malam2 for the time being. Suka ah ibu. Asal kat sini!!!! Y Y Y !!!

Sunday, February 22

I'm getting bored mcm orang gila at home... So here are some photos @ Perth..

4th Day


Pergi Ke Aqua, mcm underwaterworld gitu


Gig jerong


Fascinated by the fishes


Pegang starfish


Pinjam anak orang putih


Mcm underwaterworld kan kan kan!



Teros ge makan kat sini


Makan cheesecake kat...




Ge masjid.. siti menyibuk..nyeha



Shopping lagi.. padehal dah broke liao


Ge bbq


Great food



Mingle with great peeps


Cute couple

Alah..update nanti. aleh2 kemalas timbul!!


Youth Park. Slap magazine. First open-air performance. Bad stage fright. Close to tears. Trembling. Act slumber.

I fucking lost my etnies shoes I got from Australia. Nabey. Toyol mana sua curik!!!

Saturday, February 21

I am randomly on hiatus...

Today is goooooooooddddd..... verrrry goooooood infact. = ) I smiled like I was the only person who owns this world. I walked with a skip. I laugh & scream like a mad woman who don't care about her surroundings. Maybe I'm getting better. Don't make me fall. Don't make me fall again...

Thursday, February 19

On hiatus.
Till den..

Just leave me alone..

How could this happen. How could someone transform to be such a monster?

What wrong have I done that I got betrayed this bad?

Some people just made a great mistake in life, therefore take your own medicine..

I feel so worthless. My upmost honour went down the drain..

Such a melancholy, this have to happen to me.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Wednesday, February 18

I wish I could save you cuz there's so many things that I want you to know..

My explanations never turned out right. Never.

This kills me so much...

I've tried my very best to make you understand. But I know you're too upset to understand me. I don't even understand myself anymore.

Where is the girl? Where is she?!

Monday, February 16

Wow... I'm drained... Seriously deranged. I'm so tempted to prepare for another trip. I just need to get out of here. Seriously. Far Far Far away.... Why am i running away? Why am I a coward having to flee is the only option?

Is there such a thing called Neverland?

Its tiring having to think, think and think. Day and night. Prolonged.

To think what is the best. To think if whatever actions I'm bound to make is right. To be giving pep talks. Pep talks are bullshit.

It never made me better. Never.

I want to run. Run & run & run & run .... But to where?

Why is life so against me? I need a breather before I make suicide my only choice.

Not a single soul knows what exactly is happening to me.

I collapsed. I'm alive, yet I'm dead.

I feel so useless, helpless, vulnerable, insecure.

There is so many things missing in my life. & Yes, I'm to blame. I let go of beautiful things. I'm afraid, cuz beautiful things always have an end somewhere.

I'm a pessimist. I can;t turn back to what I was once. I've tried. I've struggled. It didnt change.

I'm beyond tired.

Miracles, I need you now.